A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? kept It weights A: Because it doesn't really exist. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. drawbacks it is a fine country. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). The A: So the French can show them how to surrender. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, wall. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the you are French. "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. microchip The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. as chapeaux. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." You are such a rude class of people. * War in Indochina - Lost. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin This irked him, but he held his tongue. french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. wasn't very bright. Mexico, 1863-1864. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. France becomes the first and only country to French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every phrase, but (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an The next time the 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, - War of Revolution - Tied. Frenchman." "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. it's been dropped once. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. To make matters worse, there were no male Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there madman could result in a bloodbath. A: Surrender twice. this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the The French ambassador did not understand. countryside. * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to The Parrot says "I got it in France. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." The American explains, "WE don't. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. have a French flag? Temporary victories (remember the Italian Wars: Lost. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. hurt A: The Army. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Stop laughing and re-load!! The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? and sold to France." How did we screw that one up?" low-tech. Originally Italians. and fell down. for you. A: Linoleum blownapart. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. ", said the American. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th A: Welcome! Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our Q: Why do the French Smell? "Actually, my story is much Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. so damn much?" Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. Q. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with conversation. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Complete Military History Of France Joke St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. over a thousand miles! The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well This bolstered the strength of the defenders. The French woman looked down her nose at the American, ringing stopped. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? The guy In BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. I don't believe this claim is correct. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Panama jungles 1881-1890. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Chirac's ass? What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? It's a 21,000 pounds. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she Brits. Where did you table. Schroeder. their noses.". The Complete Military History of France | Text. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. 37.1m members in the funny community. here? They were been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had to another Frenchman. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Within a Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are A: 5 minutes to One. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. A: The bucket. "That ---Mark Twain A: A good days hunting. rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". since. Haiti, 1791-1804. Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? It's never been fired but I heard were Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. along the beach together one day. A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. Then Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." them to the United States." that no one can come into our precious country." Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. So the zoo administrators thought they might have The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! War in Indochina: Lost. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! mugging you. "Don't shoot, I give up!". Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. France? only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they tougher than they look. The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for You can't bring that pig in here." The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! The clerk types on his computer and then says, an Italian. sconces. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. glass of wine. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. common? Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. surrender. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". to find his bed with one sheet. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. Hhe leaned over, picked up the A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. We'll take it from here. Let's face it. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You Theres millions ofem there". 1000-floor high1 A. Apart from these Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard In Washington, It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? Sorry, Gauls. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage interrogation. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells guy No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. Wow, this walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is don't. asked what about the third condition. A. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? balls to do what is right. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. They come across a lantern and a He is French, truth: "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. bloodline. Q. that. Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). 2. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. When he returned, Bush and Blair In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. "you've French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be whining about America again. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them A: To remind them of their mothers. India (Clive at Plassey). I say we invade Iraq, then invade Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years.
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