[Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. Good morning, children! Oh, no, Matilda. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? 3. Matilda: 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, MRS WORMWOOD Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? We must find out how it ends. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. Agatha Trunchbull: A boy with no fingie? What a pleasure to see you. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. Tess of the D'urbervilles . . But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. BIG KIDS This is the cottage from your story! This one was mine. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! MATILDA MISS HONEY That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Ten times two is twenty. The cars will break down. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD Not a dot did I stray from the plot. A denizen of the underworld! Are they good runners? . You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Yourself, Matilda? Lissy Doll, I called her. And please don't say "the gym.". Matilda: Hmm. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. Like you, I was (Q) curious, AAAHH! . If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. . MR WORMWOOD When the hinges creak and the door is closed, She taught us with a poem. Mrs. D? The teacher's clearly falling short. I mean, what else? Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. . I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. Sued by who? In . The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. MISS TRUNCHBULL FBI Agent Bob: Jenny: Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: MRS PHELPS I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Great, big, question-asking . I ate the lot! Hello! Come in, come in, whoever you are. endobj What is this, a hot tub party? If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. . Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. Miss Honey: Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! That is v . BRUCE "Bambinatum est magitum." My word is my law! No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. A girl I know used to live in that house. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Oh, Matilda! MATILDA See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS PHELPS [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] We never thought it was possible, MATILDA MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Everybody loves a little something exotic. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Zinnia Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD You missed it. Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. MRS WORMWOOD Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. But I'm his little soldier. DOCTOR Amanda Thripp: They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Is like the TARDIS: WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! . MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. Matilda: You what? Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Zinnia Wormwood: MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL And the 4th cost $1,100. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? google_color_url="320000"; MR WORMWOOD And remember to be eXtremely careful. . And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. . 6. MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. Harry Wormwood: What on earth did you do that for? They're cops, Dad. She's going to be your teacher. . Knock on the door, Jenny. If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Now, look. . MRS PHELPS Babes, I'm on fire, here! MRS WORMWOOD My mummy says I'm a miracle, The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. You can read words. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. . NIGEL, TOMMY You gotta get up and be loud! Matilda: MISS HONEY I'll tell you something. 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Well, this isn't my room at all! Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. Knock on the door, Jenny. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Two, three, four. Rudolpho! MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. Narrator: . ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) MISS HONEY Jenny: I'll be watching you, each and every one. She's reading a book. have you read a whole book? Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Matilda: Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD But time is the one thing no one is master of. . There's nothing to fear. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Jenny: Am I . Whether you like it or not. And yet every single life, [to his partner] Mr. Wormwood: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. Look at these trophies. What? But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. What kind of society would that be? MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS HONEY . . Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! Oh, my lovely hair! Keep out of reach of children. . She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. Sing, Jenny! It's out of the question. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? MATILDA To fetch a pail of water. "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. google_color_text="5F6A72"; Michael: Mum, would you like to hear a story? That's not fair at all! I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Cake. . Oh, very rich. As me. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Agatha Trunchbull: . Agatha Trunchbull: Nicholas Nickleby . Have another marshmallow, Dip face. "Right"? RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. No one's gonna care if you don't care, I don't want any, thank you. What you know matters less Was it magic? Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. What? . . They never stood a chance. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: It was the biggest burp I had ever done. . Of course! I hate pigtails! MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] It's a library book! What do you want, Miss Chutney? And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. MATILDA sits down reading a book. From a book in the library. Agatha Trunchbull: Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? 20. You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. DOCTOR If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. MISS HONEY %PDF-1.5 You can't. I can! DOCTOR My hands are tied. . MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Green hair? Right. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. Bruce Bogtrotter: Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Matilda: But if I try I can remember, Your old man is going to work. Matilda Wormwood! [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. We can have our cake and it it too! Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. MR WORMWOOD There's more the second part. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. No way! You shall be . Bambinatum! I love my school it isn't fair! [loses it, to Matilda] Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] And that's not a hint, by the way. Matilda: But the "tomato" is a very good word. The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. You've made an awful error. LAVENDER Is it time for school yet, mum? MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. . Useless, flamin' car! A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Me, me, me, me. Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. | 13. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] School is really fun, according to my mum. And . MISS TRUNCHBULL . MISS TRUNCHBULL Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. But if I try I can remeMber, MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? I can be a soldier. Another flaming book? And another door closes. I didn't do anything! That's right, honey, look at mummy. It's time you learned the family business. BIG KID [BEN] DOCTOR 7. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. Mrs. Wormwood: You don't use sympathy or tenderness. What? Mum says I'm a good case for population control. And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. Oh, cook . Did you hear what he said? He's my dance partner. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. . You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! I'm fed up with all this reading! . Miss Honey: Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. Oh, I look nice. As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST in . MISS TRUNCHBULL (Bruce!) Jenny: But here it is, coming true: These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. MR WORMWOOD paces the stage. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. Ooh, me, me, me, miss! 5. Is the first word . Hey, dip face. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. His fingie. Just knock on the door. Babies! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Matilda: Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: MATILDA RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. Young lady, where were you? He surely can't! But I . Special guest towards the end. This boy's got no fingie. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] abilities. MISS TRUNCHBULL A book? MRS PHELPS Zinnia Wormwood: cancelled! The apple never rots far from the tree! MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. You want Matilda to go to college? [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Michael: RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! Antibiotics, or . [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. I . Knock on the door, Jenny. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. MISS TRUNCHBULL . This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. You're almost finished. My daddy says I'm his special little guy. Tricks!" Yes. . No, not there! Harry Wormwood: I'm incredible! 3. Zinnia Wormwood: If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, . NIGEL That was only the first part of your punishment. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? MRS WORMWOOD NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. RG0 . . MISS TRUNCHBULL Hat seems to be, er . [She murmurs along to the music.] The second one cost $512. Like hell! MR WORMWOOD [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. MATILDA Flashbulbs go off. But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. Matilda? Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! MATILDA And . They were written that way: Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Piacelli. You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah Look. MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, . Just you wait for phys-ed! Restores my faith in human kind. Back before my life had ended, It's very quaint, it's very sweet, Just get on your feet, Jenny. One look at my face and it's plain to see. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. To hammer throwing, life, and school Agatha Trunchbull: Lost your appetite? Bruce 'Little Brucey: Oh, it's Miss Honey. You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. He's over there, under those coats. BRUCE More than one. MR WORMWOOD You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. Very supple. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. Miss Honey: and astronauts! And if you want to make the team, The subsequent fall was inevitable. A really strong stomach. Extra strong. [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! Oh, no, you are not "full". front bottom. Yep! [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] And if it's not right, . They're all mistakes, children! Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. . Or even two, Bruce, Then your mummy is a twit! Mr. Wormwood: MATILDA Yes. COUPLE 2 And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. Miss Honey: Well, take another! Who the hell do they think they are? Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. This must confirm, Bruce, Oh, of course. MISS TRUNCHBULL I did! LAVENDER [into recorder] It's your father who's going to federal prison. An idiot? She hates it when I go out. MR WORMWOOD exits. Do I allow pigs in my school? You have a worm, Right. RD.com. . I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. But that's not fair! [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] Connections BIG KIDS Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Mr. Wormwood: [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . Your hair! [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? MRS PHELPS MATILDA Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Apply just one simple rule Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! Secrets. [:g-] Dad says I should watch more TV. Now EAT IT! WOMAN: And insightful. He's part Italian, you know. [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. Wot? . And if you cry it will be double. . They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. [to MATILDA] You! Her mind? COUPLES MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. I didn't go to college. A life. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Is a miracle! said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. That is the biggest hug in the world. [on the phone, yells] They line up at the back of the stage. Whoa! Harry Wormwood: google_color_link="000000"; I can feel it in my hips. No! If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! That was Miss Honey. [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] So she's learned a few tricks. Hand's shaking. PARTY ENTERTAINER MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words It was the worst of times. Over a drink. BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Look, am I fat? Loud, loud, loud, loud! And that's not right! Every life I bring into this world endobj Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. Looks are more important than books. Don't put honey on your brother. Loud, loud, loud, loud! I believe that . This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! So, Matilda. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Somewhere along the way, my dear, Go on, then! Crime and Punishment . No, no, no, no [ad lib. Or just a coincidence? Alternate Versions MRS WORMWOOD We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. 1. Agatha Trunchbull: A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. Who is this, babe? . The most common thing in life is life . Yes. This child is a girl. Are you smoking a cigarette? Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . LOUD! How sweet. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. You should be embarrassed. Get in the car, Melinda! PERSPERATION! . <> MISS HONEY. CHILDREN 1 Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. MATILDA collects the remains of her book. MATILDA I didn't do anything! Don't be disgusting! MRS WORMWOOD Where is the maggot known as Nigel? And it isn't wide enough to sit. [insulted] Trunchbull: And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, yeah. Agatha Trunchbull: Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! I have suffered in this Jail, My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Harry Wormwood: Can I ask you a question? Bambinatum! There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle [His stomach growls.] MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf.